Our children are not only the most wonderful blessings from Allah Almighty, but they are also a major responsibility. As parents, we are accountable for raising our little babies to become good Muslim adults by providing them with ample spiritual nourishment. The question is how. How do we fulfill our roles without making the little ones feel pressurized or rebel against the religion? The answer is pretty simple. Don’t pressurize them! Instead, play your part as role models and guide them through the process naturally.
Here are some simple tips that you can imply daily and see how effortlessly your goal of raising your offspring to be a good Muslim gets fulfilled:
- Treat them with Kindness
Is there any doubt about the fact that our Holy Prophet (PBUH) was the best example of kindness to everyone, and especially to children? We should indeed follow his example and treat our children as kindly as possible because this is what they will learn and emulate. There are times when our kids drive us to the edge of crazy, but the key is to understand that they are little and just getting a grip of their emotions. Hence the least we can do to help them cope is to practice patience and react kindly instead of scolding them.
In addition this, you should praise your little ones whenever they do a good deed, even if it as small as saying Salam to a guest. Praising them in front of others acts as a powerful tool to boost their self-esteem and they will eventually try to do even better. Similarly, avoid humiliating them in any way be it alone or in public. It is natural for children to make mistakes, but speak to them about it in private instead of telling them off right at the spot.
- Make them feel important and Responsible
Who doesn’t like being given importance and the sense of responsibility? As much as adults look up to it, children do too. So try to involve your kids in little matters so that they realize their importance as a family member and how they too play a crucial role in the well-being of the family. If you are wondering how to do this, the answer is right here. You can ask them to suggest a place when going for a dine-out, check if they would like something when you are doing groceries, let them pick their own outfit sometimes, etc.
Moreover, you can assign them to age-appropriate chores as well, such as setting the table, dusting, folding laundry, etc. so that they grasp the sense of responsibility and show eagerness in helping you out again. Also, make sure that you don’t oblige to every single demand of theirs as that would just spoil them and prove unhealthy in the long run.
- Convey the good through example
Make sure that you yourself are aware of the basic elements of religion so that you can convey them appropriately to your children. Learn and live your life in a manner that your offspring sees and understand the beauty of Islam. Make them fall in love with Islam through examples rather than by forcing them. Remember, you as parents are the best example for your kids. If you are rude, they will be rude, if you show disrespect towards elders, they will do the same, if you don’t take religion seriously, they won’t either. It is therefore essential to give them your best version so that they pick up the good.
Be a role model and a companion to them instead of making them feel that you expect the unattainable from them. Furthermore, don’t forget to emphasize the importance of worshipping Allah, without harshly imposing it on them. You can also narrate stories of the prophets to your kids so that they learn through real-life examples of the most pious people.
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Stepping into the weekend, all full of smiles 😊 . . Today, I wanted to post a summarized version of our story-hop on "Anger Free / Polite Parenting" but instead I ended up finishing off a super urgent assignment that I had been putting off due to the sudden chilly weather. Alhamdulillah, done and dusted, so weekend will be stress-free now! 😁 . . Also, the picture is from a fun day with a few of us from @karachimombloggers 😍 Shoot concept: @365.diaries MUA: @fashionlivepkdotcom 📷: @hayeqa_syed
- Wisely distance them from what is harmful
Children are such innocent souls and can easily get influenced by their surroundings, so it is our duty as parents to wisely keep them away from what may result as a negative influence. In today’s digital era it is increasingly becoming difficult to provide an ideal Islamic environment at home but the least we can do is to monitor what our children are browsing through on TV and the internet. Apart from media that touts un-Islamic values most of the time, we also need to keep an eye on the people our children choose to spend most of their time with.
It is indeed next to impossible for parents to shield their children from every single negative force that is likely to shape their minds and behavior. Regardless, it is not too difficult to keep an open eye and smartly cut off or at least lessen their ties with such energies. Be there for them so that they don’t get attracted towards what is harmful for them, and feed them with Islamic values by setting the correct example for them. Provide them with things that will not affect their faith negatively. Surround them with positive people and engage them in interesting activities so that their mind is not left idle to become Shaytan’s workshop. Also, make sure to spend quality time together as a family. Pray together too, tell them the rewards of prayer and encourage them to pray on time.
- Emphasize on Gratitude
This one I feel is the most important of all – to practice gratitude and to teach your children the same. Be thankful for every little thing that Allah has bestowed you with. Tell your kids to be grateful for not only the food, clothes, and shelter that they have but also for their five senses and in fact just anything and everything that exists in their life. Help them understand how there are millions of people who are not as privileged as them. For this, you may even consider taking your kids to an orphanage or a non-urban area of your city to let them realize their blessings. Avoid any sort of extravagance or showering them with unnecessary luxuries.
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If we were to say Alhamdulillah infinite times, it would still be unlikely to balance the amount of bounties Allah Ta'ala bestows upon us each second of our lives - even those that we often take for granted! #SubhanAllah 💕 Agreed? . . When was the last time you said Alhamdulillah, and meant it from the depths of your heart?
There will be times when your child throws a tantrum when his or her demand isn’t met, but you have to keep your cool and dictate it to them how they should be grateful for what all they already possess so that Allah grants them even more bounties. When you keep conveying this concept to them it will eventually become a part of their life and yours too. In addition, make sure to incorporate Islamic morals, and the basic principles of tolerance, rights of others, humility and patience in their day to day life.
The key is to enforce positive learning and Islamic upbringing by implementing these simple rules. In case your children still tend to rebel and do not foster the love for Allah and religion in their heart, or if they start hiding things (that may be against Islamic values) from you, be patient with them and keep trying. You are bound to succeed with your positive behavior towards them. However, just be aware not to turn a blind eye to their wrongdoings out of love. Nonetheless, it is highly important to cultivate Islamic etiquettes in your children from an early age. The earlier you do it, the easier and faster they will adapt to it.